Several times this year, we felt very left out when VISITORS showed up with their own special BEER mugs while C3H3 was drinking out of those shitty paper cone cups stolen from the gym. Cum Analyst decided to fix that by designing personalized steins to reward our 2026 hashers!

We wanted to give them away, but the cheap ones looked like crap, so we went with a more expensive one that you have to pay for but have all kinds of discounts based on your level of participation. YES THIS IS A BRIBE TO GET YOU HASHING IN 2027! Are you a cheap bastard? Get one FREE if you hop on the C3H3 MAINx24 float on Saturday, December 5th! And if you haven’t hashed yet in 2026 but really really want a mug, there are still TWO hashes left – November 14^th and December 12^th.

If you want one, send any flattering pic of yourself to moremittenz@gmail.com that AI can turn into a badge like Cum Analyst’s and a list of the discounts you deserve. Pricing is as follows:

• Ran 0 hashes in 2026 – fuck off
• Ran one hash – $25 for a 22oz or $30 for 28 oz
• Ran 2 or more – $1 off per hash
• Hared – $5 off
• Got named – $5 off
• Can find every hash reference in the 2026 logo – $2 off
• No INTERRUPTUS – FREE!
• Join the MAINx24 parade – FREE!
• Name Cum Analyst’s favorite BEER – FREE!
• Can convince us you should get it free – FREE!

Basically, if you ran 12 hashes in 2026, hared, and got named, you get a gorgeous 22oz collectible vessel for a mere $3. If you fill it with shitty BEER, you double its value! Order now or forever be filled with regret. And don’t forget to cum and cum often to qualify for whatever treasure we find for 2027!